Content warning

This module covers the sensitive topic of grief, which will be discussed explicitly.

The content does not include explicit graphics or images, but it does include hypothetical scenarios exploring situations of bereavement, grief and loss.

If you are affected by any of the topics discussed in the module, there are links to support services and advice in the 'I want to seek help', 'Your context', 'Useful links' and 'Peer support' pods. Details of all the resources mentioned in this module are listed on the Resource bank screen.

Please leave at any time you feel necessary for your wellbeing. You do not need to complete this module in one sitting, you may want to take a break or avoid a screen entirely.

I want to seek help I want to seek help

If you have been affected by any of the scenarios or information in this screen, please reach out for support. There are a range of services which can offer you comfort, support and advice, or point you in the right direction so that you can get the help you need.

If you are in the UK:

  • Use AtaLoss to find local support services
  • Contact Samaritans by calling 116 123. Calls are free, and phone lines operate 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can also get in contact via email.

If you are in Australia, Griefline provides resources and a helpline you can access by calling 1300 845 745 (available from 8am to 8pm (AEDT) 7 days a week).

If these services are not relevant to your location, contact your university's student support, counselling or mental health service.

Additional information and support services are listed in the Resource bank at the end of the module.

As a student, you will have had some experience of dealing with loss, whether in your own life or the life of someone close to you, or you may be anticipating a loss. Losses comes in various forms, each carrying its own weight of emotional upheaval, and some of these losses may be more impactful than others.

The most personally devastating form of loss is usually considered to be the death of a loved one. However, there are many other types of loss that can cause considerable distress. For example, the loss of friendships and relationships, whether through conflict, drifting apart or other reasons, can be just as profound.

Material loss, such as financial setbacks or the destruction of possessions due to disasters, can lead to feelings of devastation too. Loss of health or abilities due to illness or injury can change our sense of self and capabilities. Additionally, loss of opportunities, dreams or expectations can evoke feelings of disappointment and regret.

The loss may have happened long ago, or more recently. The loss may not yet have happened: for example, caring for a loved one who is terminally ill. Each type of loss brings its unique challenges, requiring individuals to navigate through grief and come to terms with the loss.

Select each character to find out about their experiences of loss.

Continue on to find out about each character's experiences of loss.

"I recently broke up with my girlfriend. I thought our relationship would continue even though we were at universities at opposite ends of the country. I thought I'd found 'the one' and I was devastated when she ended the relationship with no warning, by text, after she'd started seeing someone else on her course." "My mum died just before I started uni. She had been ill for a long time. She had started to forget who I was and didn't seem like mum anymore, so I felt I had already lost her before she died. I felt some relief when she died, and then I felt guilty for feeling that. None of my friends have lost a parent and it upsets me when they mention their mothers." "I rarely see the friends I grew up with. They have new friends now, and some of them don't even live in the same country anymore. I've found it hard to make new friends at university. It reminds me of difficult times I had at school when I fell out with my friendship group, and it's really affected me." "I got attacked last summer. Life has changed and feels very different now; I no longer feel safe. I wish I could go back to how things were when I was younger. I have lost a sense of safety and that everything will be okay." "My parents recently told me they are getting divorced because neither of them have been happy for a long time and they were waiting for me to go to university before they split up. They seem to think it's okay now I am an adult, but I feel so distraught and I can't stop thinking about it. I can't tell them how I feel and it's affecting my uni work." "My cat died last autumn, and I'm still devastated. I was only five when I got her as a kitten, and she was there all my life, always around when I felt lonely. No one really understands, and when I recently tried to speak to someone about how I was feeling, they said, 'Oh, it was only a cat, you should be over that by now!'"
Peer support Peer support

It's likely that, at some point during your studies, you will meet students who are going through a loss. As well as the forms of loss we have already seen, students may commonly experience loss related to their academic life. This could include disappointing grades or failing exams, for example.

Whether you have experienced a similar loss or not, phrases like 'I know exactly how you feel', although well meaning, may not be helpful or accurate. It's important to remember that we are all unique, and your experience of loss is likely to be different to theirs.

Similarly, phrases such as 'everything happens for a reason' may not be helpful and can even be hurtful to someone who is grieving.

Instead, offer genuine empathy and understanding without trying to provide explanations or silver linings.

There are many different experiences of loss; these are just some examples that other students have experienced. Grief is not just about having lost a loved one through death. It can involve grieving the loss of anything that is important to us, including people, pets, relationships, a home, health, an academic opportunity or a dream. Some losses may have been particularly painful, and other losses may feel less significant but can still leave a lasting impact on your life.

Take a moment to pause and reflect on the types of loss you may have experienced in your life. Consider the statements in this activity and then select 'Our advice' to help guide your reflection. If you are currently experiencing a difficult loss or significant grief, please consider accessing support before undertaking this reflection. Even if you don't attempt this activity, the 'Our advice' section and the 'Students say' pod can offer valuable insight.

Take a moment to pause and reflect on the types of loss you may have experienced in your life. Reflect on the statements in this activity and consider our feedback to help guide your reflection. If you are currently experiencing a difficult loss or significant grief, please consider accessing support before undertaking this reflection. Even if you don't attempt this activity, the feedback section and the 'Students say' pod can offer valuable insight.

Take a few moments to reflect on what you learned about life as a result of loss and grieving.

Depending on the nature of the loss and when it occurred, it may be too soon to reflect on the loss, especially if it has occurred recently or has been particularly traumatic. You may be in shock or disbelief, and it can take time to come to terms with what has happened, particularly when the loss is significant to you. Understanding grief can be the first step in processing the loss. It is important to take time, be kind to yourself and others, and seek help and support.

How have you looked after yourself during times of loss in the past?

The loss you have experienced may be relatively recent, and there may have been other times in your life when you have also experienced some form of loss. Self-care is an important aspect of grieving life losses. Eating well, getting enough sleep, spending time with friends and family, being physically active and spending time relaxing are all crucial for our mental health and wellbeing, and support the grieving process. Developing self-compassion and an enduring friendship with yourself can also help support you to build a meaningful life following loss. Find out more in the module Building your self-care toolkit.

If you feel you need it, what would you like to do differently to take more care of yourself during times of loss?

This may include trying one or more self-care activities; speaking to someone, whether this is a friend, family member or a professional; or making other changes in your life to support your wellbeing. We'll explore some advice for moving forward and accessing support later in this module.

We are all unique as human beings, and the losses that we experience can vary considerably. There is no universal hierarchy of loss; each person's experience of grief is unique, and what may be more distressing for one person may be less significant for another. Loss is subjective and can be influenced by many factors. It's important to acknowledge and validate the diverse range of responses to different types of loss.

The losses you have experienced in your life may be similar or very different to the losses you have seen here. You may have experienced one or more losses in your life. The losses may have been recent or may have occurred some time ago, and may still be affecting you at least to some degree in your life now.

Students say Students say

I'd been with the same foster family since I started high school. My foster dad was made redundant earlier this year and my foster parents had to sell the house. They also thought it might be the right time for me to make it on my own. I don't know where I will be living when the summer comes along. I feel so lost and alone in the world.

Siobhan, 19


I had been seeing someone for two years. No one else knew about it – none of my friends or family, or his family, as they would not have approved at all. When he died suddenly, I didn't go to the funeral as I was worried his family might start asking questions about who I was and why I was so upset. I couldn't talk to anyone about how I was feeling. I felt so alone.

Jay, 33